The Washington Express.

The title refers to the bus service that is currently transporting me to New York.

It's the same principal as Bolt Bus, Mega Bus, or any other of the express lines that have grown wildly popular between major east coast cities. 


But why what does Washington Deluxe have overits competitors? 1. It smells like cold campbells chicken noodle soup. 2. A black dude, much like Eddie Murphy as the preacher, with jerry curls galore and a gold 1988 town car to match ushers you onto the bus like its some sort of rocket with its short fuze already lit.

About the worst fake holiday bit, still true.  But when opportunity knocks... or shall I say Derek (same thing, right?)

Google Brian Zoubek.  Derek's friend.  They went to high school together.  Played on same sports teams.  They enjoy the same cuisines; mainly bagel bites or any other Tostino pizza product. They play Mario Cart.  Brian even looks over the fact that Derek's Polish.

You know what else he looks over? Try, everything. 7 foot huge, 2010 NCAA Basketball Champion.

This New Years, we romp around Manhattan for a Happy Zoubs Year.  With new blazer and darkest jeans available to man, we will go were the night takes us.



Somebody has to be eating cold chicken noodle right out of can on this god foresaken bus.

"I hunt da raaats"

Said the contractor. And on that note, to NYC I go.

'Happy Holidays' is for the terrorists.

Merry Christmas.

My apologies for the blogging sabatical. A few things are running against it.

- I don't want to lose my job. I'm still in the probationary period, so not being signed for offenses related to blogging would be the ultimate in stupidity.

-I don't know what to say. Literally. I'm confused as to what this whole working thing is supposed to be.

-Adam said, Derek's mom gets more comments on a trip to the grocery store than does this blog. Discouraging, yet true. Genevieve can stunt.

-Blogging as anything other a way to let people who want to know how you are and generally care about you is narcissistic.

I could furnish more excuses, but Im going to get off the bus instead.

See you on the other side of the worst of the fake holidays, New Years!


There are many more excuses I could furnish.

I wish upon a red rocket.

Deliver me.

Old Post Office

Almost there.

Christmas, not Holiday Tree.

Bless Cap City

Contrasts.

Black, white.

Peaceful snowfall, enraged anti-iran war protesters.

Me? I'm just trying to get a good cup of coffee.

The lives we lead.

So my friend Ryan works in a 'mental health clinic' (that was my futile attempt at political correctness, but 'funny farm' works just as well). While I'm about to exploit their insanity, I must first note that I fully respect the pain of those who suffer from mental illnesses and the manner in which those affected individuals must fight to preserve some semblance of a normal life.

With that being said, he comes home with some hilarious stories. Example provided over gchat:

"There was a patient at the hospital, who was juggling 4 oranges, and
as i walked by he goes "you dude, do you wanna go on a tour of the
underground railroad with me when i get out of here? ive been meaning
to do it for a while now"
so i think im gonna take him up on that offer "

As always, thank you Ryan.

Lamely Enough. . . .

1.) I redacted all traces of where I work due to the threat of losing my job. This is dumb.

2.) Anonymous posting has been taken advantage of, so I now moderate comments like China's Google, Kim Jung Il, and the Third Reich combined.

3.) One concerned reader commented that this blog has gone down in quality. 3 a.) I never promised nor delivered quality. 3.b.) My mom still loves it.

Transformers vs. Congressman

The following was sent to everyone on Capitol Hill back in my interning days. Transformers 3 was being filmed in DC. Only government stiffs would be able to construct in e-mail that makes enormous robot fights seem mundane. Great job.


10/12/2010
4:30 p.m.

Due to the filming of a movie studio production, the following street closures will be in effect for both vehicular and pedestrian traffic from 6:30 p.m. on October 12, 2010, through 6:00 a.m. on October 13, 2010:

Third Street from Independence Avenue, SW, to Constitution Avenue, NW, and
Fourth Street from Independence Avenue, SW, to Constitution Avenue, NW.

Filming will also extend to Grant Statue located in the Unit Block of First Street, SW. Additionally, there will be vehicle stunts, pyrotechnics, simulated gunfire, actors portraying armed military personnel, and a significant amount of filming equipment in the area. Oversight for filming will be handled by the Metropolitan Police and U.S. Park Service. There will be no filming on Capitol Grounds. Once the activity has concluded, an updated message will be sent. (dj/jb)

Please do not respond to this message. This is an unattended mailbox. End of message.


Cool, right?

Yea

"where are we?" - jh

Chingatown

jaime.

Hoyas vs Aggies

Free tickets to company box filled with beer.....don't mind if I do.  No better way to wake up on a beautiful Saturday morn.

Maybe this whole working thing won't be so bad after all.

Actually, check back with me on Monday.

Rats

Do you see the above? Drink it in for a while. Close your eyes even. Picture the rat, a rodent of such proportions, that it would dwarf most lap dogs.

Have it in your head?

Now realize this is reality. This is not a drill. It lives. THEY LIVE. More specifically, in the ceiling above Scott's bedroom.

We've heard them for a while, but have managed to drone the noises - those which seem to derive from their small industrial factory - with an old fan. As of recent, they have ramped up 'production' (or whatever they are doing) to such proportions that we are fearing of an invasion.


How this invasion may occur. . . we don't want to be around to find out. So as American war tactics go, we shall launch a pre-emptive attack.

Enter, the exterminator.

Till then, we must stay vigil.


Salim explains to Zoolander (not original names):

"They hear us plotting. They've sent a message to my blackberry saying 'stop it, we know, stop it."

"They did that? Wow, man."




PS- Mom, we aren't in any real trouble. Please dont 'txt' me with health warnings and suggested courses of action followed by "luv u".

I'm a big boy now. I can fight my own (rat) battles.

My View

Not so cool at the moment. Just got back from gorging myself on comp'ed indian food and my hair still needs to be cut.

I look like Justin Bieber the business man.

Update to come soon.